


phantoms

by Ricky B (littletoes101)



Series: Baccano! Oneshots [6]
Category: Baccano!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-07 03:53:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1115158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littletoes101/pseuds/Ricky%20B
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Huey tells him it's phantom pain, that it's common for amputees, but that doesn't make it any less strange." Ladd-centric. Warning for mentions of rape and possible ableism.</p>
            </blockquote>





	phantoms

Sometimes Ladd still feels his left arm.

Huey tells him it's phantom pain, that it's common for amputees, but that doesn't make it any less strange. It's been four years and he's still trying to get used to the prosthetic, to snapping at people to “move to the right side, dammit” because he can barely hear in his left ear, to feeling the rope burning his fingers when it's not happening. He's listed as “disabled”, and the word makes him want to puke and scream at the same time. He's not disabled.

He's just...missing parts.

Sometimes Huey wakes him up at night because he's thrashing and screaming like somebody's out to get him. Ladd knows he has trouble with nightmares, but he can't remember anything from them. Just faceless entities, slowly tearing off his fingers, clawing at his face and arms and legs and and and –

Ladd wakes up crying some nights and he doesn't know why. Sometimes when he hears a train whistle he'll jump and flinch and touch Huey's coat. Huey doesn't bat him away like he usually does.

He dreams of his mother more now, of her honey-sweet voice. It calms him down from remembering his father. Calms him from remembering when his father would come into his room late at night and do things that Ladd had long forgotten but the nightmares bring back up.

Sometimes Ladd's too tired to get up, his bones hurt too much and his left ear rings with a bell that isn't there. He's tired a lot more now. As long as he's conscious, though, he promises that he won't cry. Not so long as he can control it.

It gets hard, but Ladd won't let his phantoms control him. That's not the kind of man he is.

**Author's Note:**

> felt like writing for ladd b/c i love him and why not


End file.
